This year...

Oh, hey there. Look who fell off the blogging bandwagon. Yet again!

Guys, life has been a handful lately. I'm talking reevaluating life, questioning relationships, rediscovering priorities, etcetera and so forth. Tomorrow marks exactly 6 months until I turn 30, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't probably having a helluva time coming to terms with that. Not so much the number or the age itself, but more of what comes along with it.

Am I happy with where I am now? What are my goals? Should I be further along than I already am? Why don't I have my shit figured out? Should I be wanting kids soon? Why can't I get a damn budget in order? Should I move to Colorado? (Seriously.) When will I finally fully love myself?

I probably think about three of these things at least once every day. It's big-question stuff. Stuff that can't necessarily be answered, at least not right away. Stuff that I'd like to address a bit more this year, instead of just pushing it off to the side (because let's be honest, it's so much easier to do that).

So, where do I start?

Well first.. when I took a look at last years goals, I realized I didn't quite do a stand-up job at sticking with them. So some I am going to renew, and some I have changed and added, and will probably keep adding to. Life is all about the process, not the destination... right? Right.

So for 2015:

1. Blog more. (Again.)
I had this as number one on my list last year as well, and all I can say is that I have re-added it for this year and I will do my damn best to stick to it!

2. Read more.
I'm really, really good at starting books and then never finishing them. At any given time, I'm probably about a quarter of the way through 3 or 4 different books, some of which get finished and some of which never do. (There's of course always the random book that I devour within a week, on top of that.) But this year, I am determined to make reading a part of my weekly, if not daily, routine. It helps that I started a mini-book club with a few friends, and also joined another one through my yoga studio.

3. Refocus on healthy habits.
When life gets stressy, I have a bad habit of falling completely off the bandwagon. Nutrition and healthy living is something I am undoubtedly passionate about, but also something that I admittedly struggle with - especially when life gets a bit rough. I've been really focusing on me lately - emotionally, spiritually, physically - and this has helped kickstart a renewed sense of vitality and love for myself. I simply want to continue on that path!

4. Refocus on Gingerbean.
This has been a long time coming. Things are fairly settled with the winery at this point, which gives me much more time to focus on my massage and health coaching business. I really want (and honestly, need) to develop my practice a bit more.. I have dubbed 2015 as the year to do so!

5. Complete my Yoga Teacher Training
More on this soon.. but I have been wanting to do this for quite some time now. My fave studio just released details about their new YTT program this coming fall/winter, and I am cautiously optimistic that I may be able to swing it. Which brings me to..

6. Get better with money.
Long and short of it is I'm really in the weeds, financially. Both Scot and I got ourselves into a bit of a mess, and it's kind of hell getting out of it. So budgeting and sticking with it is actually a top priority, above all right now. And if I can get that in order.. well, #5 might actually happen.

So these are really more like goals, than resolutions. I'm also planning on starting a sugar detox over the next week or so, so I guess that's a "resolution", but I'm not really resolving anything. Just trying my hand at something.

So what say you, fine folks? Any goals or resolutions of your own for 2015?

SUP Yoga

In my continued effort to try new things, be more active, and be more independent (as in, being okay doing things on my own without Scot or a friend), I decided to try my hand at yoga.. on a stand-up paddle board (SUP).

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First off, you'd be amazed at all the nature that the DC area actually has around it - most notably Rock Creek Park and the Potomac River. And while the Potomac isn't exactly the most beautiful (or cleanest) in the world, it has a ton of canals and little tributaries throughout the area that are actually quite nice and peaceful. It's like a little getaway without getting away - the trails, the still water, the waterfalls and birds chirping - it's like a mini urban oasis, if you know where to go.

I knew that folks would kayak or fish (ew) on the water, but the concept of stand-up paddle boarding was a new one to me as of a couple months ago. It looked cool enough - just stand and paddle and not get wet - and my initial thought was to try it out in Maine a bit with the boy. But then the buzz about SUP yoga started to appear on my Facebook news feed, on Instagram, at my yoga studio.. and while the idea completely terrified me (um hi, YOGA on the WATER?!).. I also knew I had to do it. So I signed up on a whim for a morning class this past Tuesday.

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It turns out that not many folks like to go do yoga on the Potomac at 9:30am on a Tuesday.. which was fine with me, because I ended up getting a one-on-one session with Lisa, my instructor. It also made me feel much better when I completely wiped out and got a bit wet as a result of a shaky Warrior I and revolved triangle. It's a whole different ball game on a wobbly board than the ground, let me tell you! (It also didn't help that my board was missing a fin, making it a bit less stable as well.) You are forced to truly focus on the task at hand - great for those of us who find our minds wandering during a regular class sometimes - and you really have to tap into your core. I was sore like woah the next two days!!

All things told, I thought I did okay.. and the dip in the water was actually quite refreshing! I'd love to try the class with more people, and perhaps at night when you can watch the sunset happening right around savasana time. My yoga teacher this morning mentioned doing that exact thing last night, and it sounds purely magical. Now all we need are some unicorns.

I definitely plan on doing the class again before they close up for the fall/winter - maybe even make a regular routine next summer. Just you wait - this will be me in no time!

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..well you know. At least after I nail it on the floor first.

Have you tried SUP yoga, or anything fun and different lately? I'm always looking for more!

The Newest Addition

I recently commented on how the hubs and I aren't really in the wanting-to-have-kids camp right now; but that's not to say that we are soulless, heartless folks who can't care for anything. Quite the contrary, actually, as we are totes magotes one of those couples who considers their animals to be their "kids".

The current clan, up until Wednesday, included 2 kitties and a pup.  One cat (Tegan) I got from a friend in Philly who had a litter of kittens, and the kitten (Platypus) and dog (Juno) both came from a local spot called Washington Animal Rescue League (WARL). Seriously the bees knees.. if you're in the DC area and looking to adopt/save a life - go there.

(At one point, we did have 3 cats, but my oldest - Tully, 7yrs - passed away due to lymphoma in December. His illness was the main reason we got the third cat, to try and bridge the gap for our other cat and dog. Turns out newbie got along better with the cat that passed than the one we still have.. but no matter. He and the dog are BFFs!)

Scot has been hounding me for a second dog pretty much since we got our first one, and the answer has always been a resounding NO. See, I tend to get overwhelmed easily. At least when it came to having and training a dog - that was  an experience I realized I may not have been fully prepared for when it happened. Getting a dog made me realize how much I am definitely a "cat person" - they're independent, cuddly, and small. All things that jive well with my life. But that's not to say that I don't like dogs - I love 'em - but going into that was seriously similar to having a child (says the childless wonder over here). At least my mom said it was similar, and she HAS had a kid.. so yea. I'll trust her and agree.

But for the past two years, the hubs would always go onto WARL's adoption page and send me pictures of cute dogs that needed rescuing. And even though their little eyes would stare deep into my soul, begging for me to take them home.. I had to be realistic. Two cats and two dogs (not to mention two humans), in our little duplex? No.

But then there was Ballerina. Scot sent me her picture and bio several times.. to be honest, her name alone had me hooked (former dancer, here!). And she was some form of boxer/bulldog/pit mix, which is freaking adorable when you mush them all together. Week after week went by, and her name kept appearing on the adoption site. Two months.. three months.. no one was adopting her.

Finally, I agreed to go in to see her - "just to look". (Famous last words.) I think I was still on my Chris Carrabba high from the day before, because after meeting her, I told Scot that if she was okay with the dog and the cats, we could adopt her.

Without going too much into detail - and since we ALL know where this is going - we ended up bringing her home just 4 days later, this past Wednesday!

She's 3 years old, and came from a kill shelter in DC before making it to WARL. She has clearly had at least one litter of puppies at some point in her life, and definitely has some abandonment issues. She was put on Prozac just a few weeks ago since the stress of being at shelters so long was clearly getting to her, and was incredibly timid in her crate but really opened up once we got her in a bigger room with just the two of us. The staff at WARL believes she wasn't getting adopted in part because of her breed, in part because of how not active she was in her kennel when people walked by, and in part because of the unending loop - she wasn't being adopted, and people don't want "unadoptable" pets. We were told she has select dog-reactivity, some leash aggression (as in, chews up her leash), and has a prey drive - which is a toss up in the air about whether or not she will ever get along with our cats.

All this being said, it actually made us want to adopt her more - to truly save and rescue her. We brought our dog Juno in to meet her ahead of time, and they got along just fine. We then spoke to the behavior specialist/trainer who has been working with Ballerina over the past few months, who gave us great tips on introducing her to the cats slowly. Everything was looking up, and it was like our answer was made for us. When we picked her up, I can't even tell you how many people/staff came to say how happy they were, how much they would miss her, and how great she is. That right there nearly made me cry!

So we officially have a full house, and I swear to you if Scot sends me another picture of a dog I will make him sleep on the couch.

Oh - and I almost forgot! We renamed her Khaleesi. MOTHER OF DRAGONS. (Ballerina was just her shelter name!)

Start Before You're Ready

Well, hey there. I'm back!! After another long hiatus. But I have a good reason (or twenty of them).. I swear!! But for starters, my lovely friend Sara of Fit For A Bride blog mentioned a 30 Day Blog Challenge that her and few other ladies are taking part in over the month of July, which sounds like just the kick I need to get my butt back in action.

To be honest, a lot of pretty great things have happened over the past few months, the biggest of which being that I left my old job and started my own massage & health coaching business.

*Gulp*

So.. was I ready for it? Not entirely. Did I need to do this, for my sanity and my career goals? Definitely. Was I terrified? Abso-freaking-lutely. Has it been worth it? Heck, yea!

All I knew was that I wasn't happy in my old job - where while I was an independent contractor, I was treated much more along the lines of an employee. I had a lot of responsibilities that I loved in one way, but hated in another - I learned that environment and managers can have a lot to do with workplace happiness (or lack there of). I had put three years of time and wonky hours into this place, and I finally felt that I had enough of a base to branch out and start my own thing. The way I saw it, if I have a career where I can make my own hours and be okay doing my own thing - which not everyone has the luxury of - why wouldn't I do that?

So I did. I didn't know exactly how, or even where to start. But let me tell you, Pinterest is amazing when it comes to inspirational words and mantras. (No, really!) I kid you not, this little saying below really struck a chord with me when I saw it.

If I just waited around until I was ready.. it never would have happened. So here I am, operating my own massage therapy & health coaching business, while simultaneously pretty much running and expanding the winery I mentioned a while back. I have the steady paycheck + the ability to work on my own thing on the side.. and it's pretty great.

But yea.. I'd say that's kept me (obnoxiously) busy over the past few months. Forgive my absence? =D

On the flip side, I have so many great ideas and different things that I can't wait to talk/blog about over the next month.. and beyond! And only some of them involve wine.  (Okay, maybe like, half.) (But you can't blame me, it's delicious.)

Reset.

Can you believe it? I graduated from IIN!

Unfortunately, this is my only proof right now. I *think* I'm going to get some sort of official certificate in the mail.. and there's no real "graduation".. but hey, I passed all the tests and paid them all the money, so I'm good to go!

Guess the whole "I'm going to blog along with my journey" thing didn't really work out so well.

Whatevs. Because the thing that comes with being done with school? Is more time to do other things. Like blog - which I have so terribly missed in the past year (and then some).

Of course, life is still kicking me in the butt and keeping me busy as heck - even though I sometimes whine that I'm not busy enough. My god there's no pleasing this woman.

I think part of it has been that I've been so worried about the direction of this blog - feeling that, since it's sort of tied to a potential career path, it has to contain certain things, and not others. That I may not be taken seriously, or people may be confused, or what have you. But isn't that what editing is for? And hey, I tend to get the most responses to my writing when it comes from the heart and I can be me, 100%. So maybe I just say eff it and go with that.

Now for some actual content.. a brief blurb I wrote a few days ago, but never published. Something I'd just like to throw out there. The current state of affairs, if you will.

See, I'm going through this phase of questioning everything. Not like I don't always do that.. but it's in a different way as of late.

I know a lot of people say this, but I feel like I'm destined for something bigger, something greater, something that's not.. this. Don't get me wrong - I have some really great times and good days with life as is, but it's not necessarily fulfilling me in the way I need it to. There's been a lot of introspection going on in this jumbled up brain of mine.

In my mental and somewhat verbal (sorry, guys) search for that "something", I've had an opportunity arise that has kind of been dropped into my lap. It involves way too much coincidence to have it actually be that, and the prospect has the chance to be something perfect, something could take so many aspects of things I love and mush them all together into one fantastic little bundle. Nothing is for certain, but I can see this having so much promise for me career wise, as well as fulfilling at least a part of what I'm currently lacking.

I still have no idea where to go from here, but just the glimmer of something else, something more, is enough for now. I feel like I'm on the edge of something wonderful, and I just can't wait to get there.

(Side note: I now have Edge of Glory by Lady Gaga stuck in my head. I promise that my life situation is no where near worthy of that song... not yet, anyways!)

Have you ever experienced this whole introspective-questioning-life thing? How'd it go, or heck, how's it going?

Sickly

When I was younger, I used to pride myself on not really getting sick all that often. On the weird occasions that I did, I was usually back in action fairly quickly. 24 to 48 hours later, and I was good. to. go.

Now? I feel like I get some sort of plague monthly, sometimes bimonthly if I'm lucky. It's stupid.

What bothers me most about getting sick is missing work. Being a massage therapist, I am giving a lot of myself to clients in each and every session, both physically and emotionally. I hate beyond hate having to call and cancel on people, having to tell my coworkers and boss that I can't come in. Again.

You know, like today. (Except I actually went in, felt like crap, had a mental breakdown, then left. Awesome.)