This year...

Oh, hey there. Look who fell off the blogging bandwagon. Yet again!

Guys, life has been a handful lately. I'm talking reevaluating life, questioning relationships, rediscovering priorities, etcetera and so forth. Tomorrow marks exactly 6 months until I turn 30, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't probably having a helluva time coming to terms with that. Not so much the number or the age itself, but more of what comes along with it.

Am I happy with where I am now? What are my goals? Should I be further along than I already am? Why don't I have my shit figured out? Should I be wanting kids soon? Why can't I get a damn budget in order? Should I move to Colorado? (Seriously.) When will I finally fully love myself?

I probably think about three of these things at least once every day. It's big-question stuff. Stuff that can't necessarily be answered, at least not right away. Stuff that I'd like to address a bit more this year, instead of just pushing it off to the side (because let's be honest, it's so much easier to do that).

So, where do I start?

Well first.. when I took a look at last years goals, I realized I didn't quite do a stand-up job at sticking with them. So some I am going to renew, and some I have changed and added, and will probably keep adding to. Life is all about the process, not the destination... right? Right.

So for 2015:

1. Blog more. (Again.)
I had this as number one on my list last year as well, and all I can say is that I have re-added it for this year and I will do my damn best to stick to it!

2. Read more.
I'm really, really good at starting books and then never finishing them. At any given time, I'm probably about a quarter of the way through 3 or 4 different books, some of which get finished and some of which never do. (There's of course always the random book that I devour within a week, on top of that.) But this year, I am determined to make reading a part of my weekly, if not daily, routine. It helps that I started a mini-book club with a few friends, and also joined another one through my yoga studio.

3. Refocus on healthy habits.
When life gets stressy, I have a bad habit of falling completely off the bandwagon. Nutrition and healthy living is something I am undoubtedly passionate about, but also something that I admittedly struggle with - especially when life gets a bit rough. I've been really focusing on me lately - emotionally, spiritually, physically - and this has helped kickstart a renewed sense of vitality and love for myself. I simply want to continue on that path!

4. Refocus on Gingerbean.
This has been a long time coming. Things are fairly settled with the winery at this point, which gives me much more time to focus on my massage and health coaching business. I really want (and honestly, need) to develop my practice a bit more.. I have dubbed 2015 as the year to do so!

5. Complete my Yoga Teacher Training
More on this soon.. but I have been wanting to do this for quite some time now. My fave studio just released details about their new YTT program this coming fall/winter, and I am cautiously optimistic that I may be able to swing it. Which brings me to..

6. Get better with money.
Long and short of it is I'm really in the weeds, financially. Both Scot and I got ourselves into a bit of a mess, and it's kind of hell getting out of it. So budgeting and sticking with it is actually a top priority, above all right now. And if I can get that in order.. well, #5 might actually happen.

So these are really more like goals, than resolutions. I'm also planning on starting a sugar detox over the next week or so, so I guess that's a "resolution", but I'm not really resolving anything. Just trying my hand at something.

So what say you, fine folks? Any goals or resolutions of your own for 2015?

SUP Yoga

In my continued effort to try new things, be more active, and be more independent (as in, being okay doing things on my own without Scot or a friend), I decided to try my hand at yoga.. on a stand-up paddle board (SUP).

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First off, you'd be amazed at all the nature that the DC area actually has around it - most notably Rock Creek Park and the Potomac River. And while the Potomac isn't exactly the most beautiful (or cleanest) in the world, it has a ton of canals and little tributaries throughout the area that are actually quite nice and peaceful. It's like a little getaway without getting away - the trails, the still water, the waterfalls and birds chirping - it's like a mini urban oasis, if you know where to go.

I knew that folks would kayak or fish (ew) on the water, but the concept of stand-up paddle boarding was a new one to me as of a couple months ago. It looked cool enough - just stand and paddle and not get wet - and my initial thought was to try it out in Maine a bit with the boy. But then the buzz about SUP yoga started to appear on my Facebook news feed, on Instagram, at my yoga studio.. and while the idea completely terrified me (um hi, YOGA on the WATER?!).. I also knew I had to do it. So I signed up on a whim for a morning class this past Tuesday.

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It turns out that not many folks like to go do yoga on the Potomac at 9:30am on a Tuesday.. which was fine with me, because I ended up getting a one-on-one session with Lisa, my instructor. It also made me feel much better when I completely wiped out and got a bit wet as a result of a shaky Warrior I and revolved triangle. It's a whole different ball game on a wobbly board than the ground, let me tell you! (It also didn't help that my board was missing a fin, making it a bit less stable as well.) You are forced to truly focus on the task at hand - great for those of us who find our minds wandering during a regular class sometimes - and you really have to tap into your core. I was sore like woah the next two days!!

All things told, I thought I did okay.. and the dip in the water was actually quite refreshing! I'd love to try the class with more people, and perhaps at night when you can watch the sunset happening right around savasana time. My yoga teacher this morning mentioned doing that exact thing last night, and it sounds purely magical. Now all we need are some unicorns.

I definitely plan on doing the class again before they close up for the fall/winter - maybe even make a regular routine next summer. Just you wait - this will be me in no time!

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..well you know. At least after I nail it on the floor first.

Have you tried SUP yoga, or anything fun and different lately? I'm always looking for more!

weekend recap + BB brownies

I don't do a lot of weekend recaps.. mostly because my weekends have been a bit boring and work-filled lately.. but this past one was definitely deserves a few words! Well, Friday at least.

I started off the day with a hot power yoga class - which is always my favorite way to start a Friday morning. My fave local studio features $5 Friday's, so when I can squeeze in a cheap class and grab a few more Goûter tonics? It's a good day.

The next stop of the day was to see our tattoo guy, Chris, at Low Tide Tattoos for my newest ink - a cat paw. Something I haven't talked much about here just yet is about the passing of my sweet kitty, Tully, back in December. The reader's digest version is that he developed lymphoma last year, and it was just a matter of time before it took over his body. We had to put him to sleep just after Thanksgiving, and god help me, it was one of the hardest things I've had to do. I still think about him everyday.

When he started getting sicker, I decided that I wanted to eventually "commemorate" him with a tattoo of his paw print. The interesting part was actually getting the print, but after several tries (and lots of wet food as incentive), I was able to get a few decent ones. It took me a few months to actually schedule an appointment, but I was feeling especially inspired last week and set something up for midday Friday.

I sent Chris two of the best paw prints - and seeing as he's also done five out of my seven tattoos - I trusted him completely with it. And guys? It's beautiful.

A pre-cleanse "cleanse". Say what?!

So I had a fairly lovely holiday season. It involved a lot of wine. And food. (As most things in my life do.)

Cue: photo montage.

Now despite the good times, now that it's all over, I've been left feeling a bit.. at capacity. Generally blah (scientifically speaking).

I do my best to eat right and not over-do it, but I think I took a lot of the stress of 2013 and just dumped it into my holiday celebrations. Which is great - we all deserve to enjoy life in whatever way we want to. But my body just isn't used to it all. On top of that, I didn't go to yoga for about a month due to various circumstances (that I can justify all I want, but really, why couldn't I get my butt to at least a class or two?!).

All of this is to say that I have decided to do a juice cleanse.

Dun dun dun.

Humbled

Sometimes, you need to be humbled.

Like me. Two weeks ago.

See, I had a huge reality check in terms of my yoga practice. I mean.. I already know that I'm no seasoned yogi and am still working on my strength and practice. But damn. That ish can be hard. And I still have a long way to go.

What brought about this.. revelation, if you will.. was a level 2 (out of 3) class I took on YogaGlo.com (more on that soon!). I figured: hey, I take mixed level Vinyasa classes all the time, I'm starting to get comfortable with inversions (ok.. so really just shoulder stand and wheel {aka the back bend thing}), and I've definitely progressed since I started taking classes regularly last year. Level 2 should be good, right?

Well.. sort of. I could definitely keep up with maybe 80% of the class. Never mind the fact that I was completely tired and out of breath by the end of it. But the other 20%? I'm telling you, that last 20% really made me realize how much more I not only have to learn, but practice and perfect as well.

I have to admit, I was so grateful for the realization and humbling experience. I've been so hell bent on wanting to get my yoga teacher training ASAP, and this was the first moment I was really able to take a step back and acknowledge that I've only just begun my yogic path.

The thing is, I love yoga not only for the physical aspect, but the spiritual as well. The same way being healthy is not simply a diet, but a lifestyle.. so is yoga. It's an amazing, all encompassing lifestyle and philosophy that truly speaks to me. And lately, I have been more committed than ever to progress with my yogi lifestyle.

Have you ever had a humbling, but exciting experience with something you're passionate about? How did it affect you?

Open Hearts

Over the past few months, I have found myself rediscovering my gratitude and passion for yoga. As a former professional dancer, I thrive on movement - and while yoga never played a starring role in my life, it was always a strong supporter. Since I  left the dance world and became a massage therapist, however, it has suddenly become something that I not only need, but that I thrive and flourish on - something that supports and nurtures me both physically and spiritually.

Some of my favorite postures as of late have been different types of heart openers - extremely fitting, seeing as Valentine's Day is right around the corner! In an effort to share a bit about these poses with you, I reached out to one of my favorite teachers, Leslie Edsall, for some further insight. Seeing as she described everything I wanted to talk about with such grace and depth, I figure that I'll let her do the talking. (Hey.. I'll do the poses!)

"In order to give, one must have a willingness to receive. In order to receive, one must have a willingness to give. Inhale (receive). Exhale (give). Inhale (opening up) Exhale (folding in). In yoga, we can access this source of giving through the heart center (heart chakra), a place that fosters compassion toward one’s self and toward others. This is the largest benefit of heart openers, but the effects of the postural alignment is also profound. Heart openers help to reduce chronic neck and shoulder pain, typically due to at length sitting and driving. Students can use heart openers to bring the upper body and head back in to alignment over the hips and knees; therefore, improving the energy flow (prana) throughout the body while increasing the lung capacity, taking in full body breaths (pranayama). Prana and pranayama will bring more ease to the mind for improved health and vitality in the body.

It is recommended to ease in to heart openers and back bending so that the spine is warmed up properly. Yoga classes are typically structured with a few different variations of three or more heart openers."

That being said, "heart openers can be confronting, especially if the physical act of opening the front body and bending back creates a sense of fear. For some students, the energetic opening of the heart makes them want to pull back inward. The best way to overcome these hurdles is to practice and start with what feels right. Students can experience passive heart openers by resting the spine on a bolster or block, allowing the shoulders to fall open and the heart to begin to lift."

Some other, more subtle heart openers are:

Eka Pada Rajakapotasana (Pigeon Pose)

Bitilasana (Cow Pose)

Anjaneyasana (Low Lunge)

Students can also approach heart openers “belly-down” with poses like:

Bhujangasana (Cobra Pose) - not pictured

Salambasana (Locust Pose)

Sphinx Pose - not pictured

Dhanurasana (Bow Pose)

Deeper, more advanced heart-opening backbends include:

Ustrasana (Camel Pose)

Setu Bandha Sarvangasana (Bridge Pose)

Urdhva Dhanurasana (Upward Facing Bow Pose).

Let's not forget a fun balancing pose, like Natarajasana (Dancer’s Pose)!

To wrap it all up, I asked Leslie if she preferred certain heart openers to others (since I'm personally a sucker for a good dancers pose!).

"I don't have a favorite since they all have their place in my yoga classes and in my own practice. Every time I come to the mat, my energy is different and I must honor where I am that day, working from that place of kindness towards myself. Some days it's a gentle practice and others it is more intense. We all must work from that place of honoring what our body needs at any given time that we come to the mat."

Honestly, I couldn't have said it better myself!

In what ways will you honor your body, mind, and spirit this week? Do you personally have a favorite heart opener?